O-R-E-O

Been a while. I've been tired. Lots to post today.

I'm the coolest teacher in the world. Today I taught compare and contrast, something that some teenagers don't really "get." I decided to teach them through food and it was a hit! I bought Oreos and Ritz crackers (ok, so, I'm cheap and bought the Albertson's brand--the kids were nice enough to point out that the "Oreo" didn't quite compare to the 'real' thing!) and gave each student one of each ("But, Mrs. Hubert, why can't I have more?"). They had to list reasons the two were the same and different. Before they did this, I compared and contrasted two of my shoes. The little darlings told me quite frankly my shoes were ugly. I seriously had to blink back the tears; it hurt so much-I have impeccable shoe style! True, the shoes are "so last season," and, true, my shoes weren't skater shoes or Converse, but their jabs at my shoes cut me like a knife. Anyway, they loved the fact that they could eat and work at the same time. They didn't like me, however, for making them turn their Compare/Contrast chart into a 3 paragraph essay. Little whiners!

I got the best Christmas present today from a student in 6th period. I've been telling my classes that if they want to give me a present, they should give me pencils (I'm fresh out of my own supply, my mom's work supply, and the box of 24 I bought last week!). Today, after I did the lesson and got them quietly working on their essay, I walked back to my desk and saw a green envelope with my name on it and taped to that was a little sandwich bag full of pencils!! I was so happy! I counted 10 pencils, which will probably only last into tomorrow afternoon, but I'm still smiling from ear to ear. I think what I may start doing is charging 10 cents...I'd be a freaking millionaire by Friday!

Another Christmas story--Yesterday in my mailbox, I had a "Season's Greetings" card from Murray Printing Company. I do not know the Murray Printing Company. They've never printed anything for me. It was a little surprise. Then, I found out that the teacher who used to do the newspaper had this company print the paper. I guess they'd like my business or something.

I've had quite the ordeal with my paycheck this month. Let me break it down. Normally, all teachers have one prep period/consultation period per day. This is when they prep for the next day, make copies, do grades, ect. I do not have one of these luxuries. It's an 8 period day for me. Well, I'm supposed to get paid a bit extra each day for teaching a prep period. I didn't get that pay on last months pay check. Luckily, I caught the mistake--my pay check was much, much, much smaller than normal. I contacted a person in payroll, who took 4 days to get back to me, and that person sent someone from the district out to talk to me about it today. This person and I went to talk to the secretary about it and she showed that on my time card she had not given me those prep periods as paid. So, long story short, I will get a nice little bonus on December's paycheck to make up for the itsy bitsy (HUGE) mistake. I thought perhaps they were not satisfied with my 11 hour days and wanted to stiff me on sitting in my chair for a few minutes each class period.

I received the following in an e-mail from one of the secretaries at school. I laughed.

You Know You're A Teacher If...
Category: School

1. You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
2. You find humor in other people's stupidity.
3. You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work from 8:00 to 3:20 and have summers free."
4. You believe chocolate is a food group.
5. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
6. You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box in the report card.
7. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
8. When out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.
9. You have no life between August and June.
10. When you mention "vegetables" you're not talking about a food group.
11. You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
12. You wonder how some parents ever figured out how to reproduce.
13. You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
14. You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary setting for the last 10 years.
15. You've ever had your profession slammed by someone who would "never dream" of doing your job.
16. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
17. You know you are in for a major project when a parent says, "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun."
18. You want to choke a person when he or she says, "Oh, you must have such fun every day. This must be like playtime for you."
19. Meeting a child's parent(s) instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"
20. Your boss tells you of a great new policy she's adopted called "Zero Tolerance."

I especially appreciate numbers 3, 6, 8, 11, and 15.

Saturday there is a conference for West Lake staff at the district offices. We get paid $100 to attend. I guess there are lots and lots of us going; it isn't a requirement, but I hear the presenter is fabulous. Plus, one good thing is that I do not have to find a sub.

I got hit in the head with a flying pencil yesterday....it was all the rumor around school this morning. I had random students coming to ask me if I was ok. (Shhh...the pencil really didn't even touch my head, it just skimmed my hair but I made a gigantic deal out of it just to tease my students). The pencil was intended to be thrown (their way of "handing" someone something) at a friend, but I walked right in front of the incoming pencil and it came in contact (oh so briefly) with my hair. I got a good laugh. (In other pencil-throwing related news, in the same class last week, a student got hit in the head with a sharp pencil and it started to bleed. I advised him to go put pressure on it with a paper towel in the bathroom AND I punished the thrower.)

Today I had a student approach me with a question on whether or not I'd be in my room right after school tomorrow. I told her yes. She said that her probation officer needed to come speak with me to see how she's doing. Great. I knew I was dealing with tough students, but, probation officers at age 13???? What is the world coming to?

Well, I am dang tired already but have some insane goal of going to the gym every night (I started that yesterday...wahoo...I haven't been since the end of summer!). I am going to the kickboxing class today and hopefully I'll be able to walk tomorrow.