you know....

Borrowing an idea from comedian Jeff Foxworthy, I now present to you:

You Know You're a Junior High School Teacher if...

* You have a collection of dry erase markers in your pocket by the end of 7th period because if you leave them out they'll be stolen.
* There are sayings such as "Emo Princess" and "Prinsezz Bratt" written on the line meant for the students name on a worksheet (Emo, by the way, is the new fangled term teens use to describe themselves as depressed and emotional)
* When asked the question "What's the best thing that has ever happened in your life?" students write things like "getting a cell phone," which shows the true depth of their maturity.
* You have to assign a "Pencil Nazi" for each class period just so you get all 24 of your pencils back after lending them out to students. And then when in public you have to pick up any pen or pencil off the ground because, oh the shock, you could certainly find someone in need of a pencil.
* While talking to your husband (or any other adult, for that matter) you begin each comment with the words, "Ok, class, let's get started," or "Let me have your attention up here please," or "It's my turn to teach, your turn to shut your mouths," or anything of that nature.
* While telling your crazy dog who insists on barking during a TV show: "You're just as bad as a class of 8th graders."
* You can pick out the vibrating or misquito ring tone on a cell phone hidden in a backpack, and totally freak out the owner when you ask "Who's calling?"


And I could keep going, but these are all just things I've noticed during the last week of working.

A few explanations:

I came home from work on Wednesday and took off my suit coat that I had been wearing. I felt a big lump in one of the pockets and pulled out-no joke-7 dry erase markers. I keep the markers in a box near my desk, but after using one just put it my pocket. I repeat this action each class period and before you know it, my marker box is empty and my pockets are full. I don't know how many markers I have had stolen from my classroom, but I'm willing to bet that the new set I bought at the beginning of the year with 10 markers in it have all been taken and used as a way to get high in the bathroom.

I was correcting my students Bell Work yesterday after school (this is what they do the first 5 minutes of class each day...like answer a question or something). One of the questions I asked this week was "What is the best thing that has ever happened to you?" The majority of my students put things like "getting a cell phone," or "getting my x-Box." I was really saddened at the commentary this gives about this generation. Only a few dug a little deeper and put stuff like "when I was born," or "when my baby brother was born."

The whole "Pencil Nazi" was actually the idea of one lazy student in 7th period who, upon realizing that he does no work in my class, decided he should help me out by being in charge of the bin of pencils I keep on my desk. He is equiped with a post-it-note pad of paper and each student who borrows a pencil must sign out for them and then when they return, he crosses their names off. Despite the fact that this student is one who is brilliant but lacks desire and motivation to do work, I'm kind of please with his sudden urge of pencil awareness that make it possible for students of 7th period to use borrowed pencils. I have a few other students in other classes who have expressed the same desire to help out and I'm seriously considering implementing the new class position and hope that it will become a privilege to be the Pencil Nazi.

Ben and I went to the Chocolate Show last night at the Expo Center with dad Hubert. Can you say "chocolate overload?" The biggest fad there was supposed "healthy chocolate," which the 3 of us decided really tasted like crap. What's the point of chocolate with no caffeine?? After the show, we went to dad's ward pie party and had good pie. Then Ben and I went to see "Fred Clause" with cousin Sharon and her friend. It was pretty funny, but not one I'd see over and over (like Transformers)

It's the first Saturday in a long while I haven't had to be busting my bum to get stuff ready for Primary Program and it feels swell! I slept in and got some housework done. I'm going to see "The Bee Movie" with my mom, Zach, Hil and Cassidy later this afternoon.

Happy Weekend!