aha moment

I decided today on my drive home, after a quick stop at Smith's, that my posts need to be more frequent so I don't write so much in one. I'm not entirely sure how many people actually read from start to finish, but I'm putting it out in the universe that I'm going to try to shorten your reading load (something I'm also sure my students would appreciate).

I had what Oprah calls an "Aha Moment" today. I'm thinking as an old-pro 2nd year teacher (hahaha). My Aha Moment may not be all that profound, but I'm glad it hit me today...when I needed it most.

3rd period, the ginormous class, is proving to be my challenge. I'm not really 'connecting' with them as I would like and feel a little overwhelmed at the size. Luckily, I did have one student who was transfered to sped (special ed.) which gives me one more seat to fill.

Today I was uber prepared. I made a bookmark for them to glue (so I guess, rather, a gluemark) onto the front of their folders. On it was the three types of Text Connections (text to text, text to self, and text to world). I tried to make my instruction on these brief and to the point. Then, as we are beginning our unit on biography, autobiography, and memoirs, I decided we'd read one of my most favorite selections from Maya Angelou's, "I know Why the Caged Bird Sings," the one about Mrs. Bertha Flowers, which I showed as an example of a memoir.

3rd period, like most, were reluctant to read (why do we hafta read in English??) and I made a split-second decision that I would read to them. I read with all the passion in this wide world; seriously, I was really into it...maybe a little too into it. Despite my somewhat theatrical performance, I still had nodding heads and flying pencils.

Part one of my "Aha Moment" is that not every student likes to read or ever will like to read. I knew that before, but today's class made me realize that I can't persuade every teenager who passes through my class thoroughly love reading. Sure, there were the few who actually paid attention and followed along; mostly, however, the non-readers stared aimlessly off in space, looking in the direction of my more-boring-than-the-story ceiling.

Part two of my "Aha Moment" was that perhaps, not every student will like me and I may not make those precious connections with every student. This, too, I knew before (from last year experience) but it seemed to be OK today; it was OK that I overheard a girl say, "My friend is in this class in 4th period and she thinks Mrs. Hubert is dumb." Of course, it stung like finger nail polish on a paper cut, but I was OK because I can't take things like that personally and I'm beginning to really, truly understand that. They are, after all, teenagers...13 and 14 year olds who really don't have the maturity to know what they like and don't like.

Then, however, during 7th period, I had an even greater thought and moment that made me smile again, made me remember, yet again, why I love my job. I connected with them. I had all 27 of those students following along, listening to my performance. They were participating, even if they didn't really care for the story, they tried. And I realized that I loved them for that. And I realized that some kids will like me and the way I teach, as goofy as I may be sometimes. I will make connections with some, if even only a few, and it will make all the difference.

I hope that maybe today, some of my students could say, as Maya Angelou says at the end of "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings,"
"She made a difference. I mattered. And that made all the difference."